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Zombie Chuck Jones Returns from the Grave
 Warner
Bros. Animation has resurrected the late Chuck Jones, who directed some
of the studio's greatest cartoon shorts, and commissioned a new animated
series from him that will feature undead versions of its stable of Looney
Tunes characters, the studio said today.
"The box office performance of Looney Tunes: Back in Action
convinced us that the old characters really are dead," says Warner
Animation's Sander Schwartz. "It was a natural product extension
to relaunch the stable as cartoon corpses and to turn the franchise back
over to their late creator."
Zombie Looney Tunes will be paired with Baby Looney Tunes
on the Cartoon Network schedule and will be the object of a massive merchandising
campaign. The series will feature a Bugs Bunny who has been flayed and
dressed for a hasenpfeffer dish; a country-fried Foghorn Leghorn; and
the disembodied bill of Daffy Duck, floating in mid-air.
Jones, who was reanimated in a voodoo ceremony held at the grounds
once occupied by fabled Termite Terrace, expressed satisfaction
with the new arrangement, complaining only that Warner executives
were lacking in "juicy brains."
X-Babies Headed to
Fall Lineup
Marvel Animation Studios is negotiating with Kids WB to pick up
its newest cartoon version of its X-Men franchise, Toon Zone has
learned.
X-Babies will feature the uncanny mutants when they were
still in diapers and were overseen by "Nanna" Xavier,
who will be shown only from the waist down. The series will have
a heartwarming tone and impart valuable lessons. Featured stories
will have Baby Storm making a rainy day sunny so the kids can have
a picnic, and Wolverine learning why he must sheath his adamantium
claws before playing with his pet bunny.
Timm Changes JLU Lineup "Just to Annoy Fans"
 The
core lineup of the Justice League will be radically reconfigured when
the series relaunches later this year as Justice League Unlimited,
Toon Zone has learned. Out will be Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and
Green Lantern; in will be Ma Hunkle, Apache Chief, Inch High Private Eye
and Beppo the Super Monkey. In addition, Flash will be redesigned as a
lesbian West Indies woman with a thyroid condition.
Producer Bruce Timm says that the changes are a response to internet
criticisms. "Whine, whine, whine. That's all you punks do. I'm sick
of it. Were you upset before? I'll give you [expletive deleted] something
to bitch about!"
Guest stars and featured villains for the new season will include Scrappy
Doo; SpongeBob SquarePants's Merman and Barnacle Boy; Dr. and Mrs.
Joseph Frankelbaum of West Palm Beach, Florida; and the ghost of President
Chester Alan Arthur. The season premiere will have the revamped crew battling
The Anti-Flash (a.k.a. "Matt Wilson"), who will attack the Justice
League with vicious personal remarks.
Jackson, Timberlake to Bare All in New Toon Series
Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake will lend their voices and
animated images to a new cartoon series for Spike TV, the network
said today.
The pop stars will play superheroes fighting carnivorous aliens
that disguise themselves as articles of clothing, leading to stories
in which the heroes go around ripping the shirts and pants off "bodacious
chicks" and "hot studmuffins."
The new series, whose title could not be pronounced clearly by
Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone for all the drool in his mouth,
will be executive produced by a growth removed from Stan Lee's colon.
Queer Eye Guys to Guest
Star on Static Shock
 Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy's Fab Five will be the latest guests to appear
on Static Shock, Toon Zone has learned.
In the upcoming episode, the five will visit Dakota to make over Robert
Hawkins, Static's father. But a supervillain attack will force the
visitors to reveal their secret identities as the latest incarnation
of the "All-Style Squadron," a superhero team operating
in secret since the days of World War II. The Squadron's history,
they will explain, included encounters with Nazis, segregationists,
Hillary Clinton, and alien invaders, all of whom were defeated with
lifestyle makeovers.
In addition to their voices, the five also lent their fashion sense
to the episode, designing the costumes for their animated counterparts
after Carson Kressley complained that the green and yellow stripes
on the original designs would make their butts look huge.
Kressley also revealed that the five have been asked to appear
in Will and Grace: The Animated Series, which is coming to
Bravo in 2005.
FoxBox Adds Read or Die To Meet Educational
Requirements
FoxBox has picked up the domestic rights to Read or Die in
order to meet FCC-mandated educational/informational requirements,
the network says.
FoxBox executives admit they have not seen the series, but hope that
the title alone will pass muster. "Compared to 'Reading Rainbow,'
we believe it gets a pro-literacy message across quite forcefully."
To reinforce that message, the company is planning a cross-promotional
campaign with the National Rifle Association to arm librarians with shotguns
and hand grenades.
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